Stringy Boogers in Jersey

Tonight it’s Newark.

But it really isn’t their fault. If it was, though, I would expect them to blame it on Chicago anyway. New Yorkers and New Jersians have an arrogance that rivals anyone you’ve ever wished you hadn’t encountered. I’m not sure why either. The theme of their states should be “historic, but overrated”. Plus, their accent makes them sound retarded. Sorry, Bruce.

I typically don’t check my bag, but today I have a lot of stuff. Had to check one. The bummer is that I could have changed clothes and gotten into something more comfortable. Maybe I should just walk around in my underwear. Please don’t vomit.

Oooh…I just noticed a Freshens. Ever been there? Caribbean Queen…I mean Caribbean Groove is the best choice for a non-dairy smoothie. 10 Juices, Strawberries and Bananas…yum! Carribbean Queen, now we’re sharing the same dream …and a smoothie that tastes so right…sing it, Billy.

What ever happened to Billy Ocean anyway? Maybe he’s sharing an apartment with Lionel Richie or something. Imagine that comeback tour.

Oh for the love of God…the guy across from me has had his finger in his nose for the past minute...oh yeah, roll it up, my friend…that’s the only way to do it. A long stringy booger rolled into a tight ball only adds to the combover hairstyle and black socks/gym shoes that he is sporting.

There should be a law surrounding the wearing of overalls. Limit it to guys, if anyone. …or women, but only if they’re hot and aren’t wearing anything underneath. Yeah buddy.

I’m going to get a smoothie now.